I am the oldest of five, three boys and two girls. I don’t have a special story of my vocation as other people would say that they heard God's call. So, my vocation story is simple. It was filled with ups and downs.

My dad was a good friend of our pastor when I was younger. One day I came back from playing soccer with my brothers, and the pastor was playing cards with my dad. The pastor called me over and said, "Henri, you know what, I got a request from Minor Seminary for boys who would like to become priests, and I put your name on the list." I said, "You put my name on the list? No, you cannot put my name on the list without asking me." I was very angry. I went to tell my mom and she told me that I shouldn't get angry for that because nobody would force me to go to Minor Seminary. By the way, Minor Seminary was a boarding school for boys, from 9th grade to 12th grade.

After two or three weeks, I went to see the pastor. I asked him for the list of school supplies a boy needed to go to seminary. He laughed and said, "I was just kidding, I did not put your name on the list." I said, "Well, I would like to go." Then he said, "I know your dad very well. Don’t tell him. Tell your mom and let her take care of that." So I told my mom, and she said, after laughing, "I’ll talk with your dad." To our big surprise, my dad said, "You know what, that's OK, because the Minor Seminary is a very good high school with good education and great human formation."

When you graduated (from Minor Seminary), to go to Major Seminary, you had to have an approval from your parents. When I was in the 12th grade, I sent a letter to my dad asking my parents' approval to continue to the Major Seminary. My dad refused and said, "No. I will not write that letter, because for me you cannot be a priest. You are the oldest. You have to go to university and become a physician or engineer so that if I die, I know that you will take care of your brothers and sisters."

Almost three weeks or a month later, he came to me and asked, "Do you still want to go to Major Seminary?" I said yes. He said, "You know my friends are making me feel guilty because I said no. I think that you can go; God will take care of us. Tomorrow I will give you the approval letter."

The next day I went to see the archbishop with the approval letter and my request to enter the seminary. The archbishop said that it was late and there wasn't any place left in seminary for me. He asked me to go home and he would see what to do. He called me later to send me to the university for a bachelor's degree in mathematics. After additional years of study in philosophy and theology, I was ordained in August 1981.

I struggled with God's call for me to be a deacon for several years. I first received God's call when I was about 28 years old, in 2003. At that time, my wife, Megan, and I had been parishioners at OLF for about 2 years. I was active in Band of Brothers and Megan was active in ENDOW, and we were trying to figure out how to deepen our faith and relationship with God.

I had reluctantly agreed to teach Sunday School classes to the 7th & 8th grade boys. They asked really hard questions about the faith. I often had to go find help in answering the questions.

One evening, my wife and I had dinner with Deacon Nusse and his wife. We went over to talk about possibly becoming foster parents. Toward the end of dinner, he asked me if I had ever thought of being a deacon. I laughed and said absolutely not. Immediately, I felt that there was no way God would call me. I had too many faults and didn't know my faith very well at all. Plus, I was too young. Only men 35 years of age or older could be ordained to the diaconate. Also, I didn't really know what a deacon did or how a deacon fit into the Church. My wife and I joked about it and didn't really think much of it after that.

I think it was in 2005 that Deacon Joe Hawley hosted a night to answer the questions about what it meant to be a deacon and to help anyone discern if they felt they were being called. It was a simple dinner of pizza and we met for just about an hour or two. We discussed the topics of the three responsibilities, or offices, that a deacon is given by ordination: Sanctification, Administration, and Catechesis. At the time, I figured there was no way I could fulfill these responsibilities as I was just starting a brand new family, with our two daughters who were both babies. So, I continued to say "Nope, not for me!"

In 2008, during a Sunday Mass, one of the pre-Mass announcements invited all men and their wives to attend a meeting in the Parish Hall. The topic was about the Permanent Diaconate and whether or not anyone might be feeling called to be ordained a permanent deacon. I started to shrug and looked at my wife like, "there’s no need to go to that meeting!" But just then, the lector who was reading the announcements looked over at us, and the folks who were sitting around us all turned and began to look at us.

Believe it or not, this was a small miracle. We talked to a couple of our friends who had turned and looked at us. They were adamant that they did not turn around! We talked to the lector right after Mass and asked why she looked at us, and she (to this very day) said she never looked up at us. She also related to us a dream that she recently had. She dreamt that I was a deacon and we were both at OLF talking about catechesis! Megan and I figured that was a sign and we should at least go to the meeting. The parish hall was full, and as I looked around, I saw so many parishioners who knew so much more about our faith and had been much better with regard to evangelization.

After the meeting, I was even more sure that I was not called to be a deacon. I was not worthy and surely there were men better suited to be a deacon. I relayed that to my confessor and he yelled at me, right in the confessional! "Who do you think you are? Of course you're not worthy. None of us are! But, if God is calling you to be a deacon, you have to listen to that! He'll make you worthy."

I went to church that weekend and relayed my confession experience to Deacon Rich who only confirmed what I had been told. So, after several years of discernment, I figured that I should at least apply to the diaconate formation program. I still was pretty sure that I would get a "Thanks, but no thanks". How could I be a deacon with all that was going on in my life?

I applied, and we went to our interview for the diaconate in January 2011, 2 weeks after Megan gave birth to our fourth child. A couple of weeks later, we received a letter of acceptance into the seminary for the permanent diaconate formation program.

So, for about eight years, I had said, "No" to God, then "Yes, but later" to "Um okay, here I am".  During that whole time, it was my family and people of OLF (both clergy and the laity) that had helped me to discern my vocation.

The Clergy life is to dedicate your life to God, loving God by loving others, humble sacrifice and the most important thing is for you to be very smart when talking to people. Well, I am a sinner and have none of the above, maybe some in my heart, but not worthy enough to be the Clergy of the Church. Until the day that the Pastor calls me to help at the Church.

At first, I helped out with the Weekly Newsletter. Then principles of catechism were printed into by brain, and I started learning about the Church, the Code of Canon Laws more deeply from all Priests and Nuns that I have met, as well as taking lessons everywhere I could, including online. I became the Director of the Liturgy for my Parish in early 2004, teaching Baptism preparation class for parents and godparents, Marriage preparation, and working as a liaison for Liturgy with the Archdiocese.

Every Priest and Religious Brother and Sister I have met through the Parish office encouraged me, "You have the heart to serve the Church, serve others, why don't you join the Diaconate formation and become a Permanent Deacon?" ...and so much more. Those words made me think and pray for a few weeks. Finally, I talked to my wife and we applied for the 2013 class.

I left the formation after two years I felt so unsure of what to do. My wife and I spent more time praying together every morning, and at night. I also contacted some of my Priest friends asking for help. After a few years of prayer and spiritual direction from Priests, I decided to return to the Diaconate Formation Program.

I have experienced the love of God for me. He gave me everything, even His life, and now He is calling me to follow Him, to witness His Love, to live as a servant in the service of others, proclaiming the good news and loving others for Him. Thus, as Christ gave Himself, so God wants us to give ourselves for others. I think it's time for me to prove my love for him. That is my calling to Permanent Diaconate.

O my Jesus, I am offering my body and my soul to your Sacred Heart, please live in me, everything I do, everything I say and in my thoughts only to glorify You. Please don’t let me ever sin against You. Here I am, Lord, I come to Do Your Will. Most Immaculate Heart of Mary, pray for me that I may grow closer to your Son, Jesus. Amen.